Millions of fish united. They were tiny young white and sparkling fish. They swam through the water seeking food. They swam to the bottom of the sea to find some small crabs and creatures.
But then the fish found out they were being followed. They were running for their lives because right behind them was a GREAT WHITE SHARK… Some of the fish were hiding under rocks, some of the fish were hiding in little caves but some of the fish were still running.
To support my learning I ask you to comment as follows:
1. Something positive - Begin with a greeting. Talk about something you like about what I have shared.
2. Thoughtful - A comment that will mean something to me to let me know you read/watched or listened to what I had to say. - use any language.
3. Something helpful - Give me some ideas for next time or ask me a question.
Encourage me to make another post
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.
Kia ora Amani,
ReplyDeleteWhat gave you the idea to make this? Or the idea that gave you the topic?
I like the detail and thought you put into this poem.
Maybe next time you could add more commas?
Kind Regards
-Darion
Hi Amani,
ReplyDeleteThis is a good poem
Could you explain what made you have the idea to write about this.
You put some good description.
Maybe next time write what you like about your poem.
Hello Amani,
ReplyDeleteI really like this blog post and let me tell you why. I really like how descriptive your piece of writing is. I also like how you used heaps of different types of punctuation. maybe next time you could say if it is a poem or a story. Good job.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteKia Ora Amani,
ReplyDeleteI really like your post because you have put in a lot of detailed words that other people may not know.
Maybe next time you could add some photos to go with the text.
How long did this take to write?
From Ritchie
Hi Amani like your poem, next time you could ass a great white shrk chasing the fish.
ReplyDeleteMum xx
Kia Ora Amani,
ReplyDeleteas I read this poem it gets more interesting! There's a lot of descriptive words in this poem like tiny young white sparkling fish. What was the best part of writing this poem? Maybe next time you could add a colourful background (If possible). Have a good day.
-Jason